Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Strong heads a-butting.

Alex knocking me straight. 
I am struggling.
I struggle with my voice blending into thin air among conversations.
I struggle with the question of passion versus life path.  Yes versus.
I struggle with speaking and not being believed.

I write to resolve myself of these thoughts, I write openly for constructive criticism.  I post photos to lighten the mood.  

When we are involved in a dialogue with one another, why do we exert effort with a nod or "uh, huh" yet cannot exert enough effort to genuinely listen.  Understanding and openness is crucial.  

In this dialogue, why is it when something contradicts our thought, perception, or formed knowledge, we are sometimes unable to constructively respond.  For certain friends and dialogue we are open to ideas and differing opinions with an expressed willingness to understand.  Other friends and personalities we seem to have an immediate negative shut-off valve.  This person is certainly incorrect, uninformed, wrong, and not worth listening to.  

Wes and Craig talking it out. 
I have experienced a bit of this lately and find extreme frustration.  It causes me to reflect on my own actions, my own demeanor.  I know when treated with a disbelieving shrug or confidence of 'wrongness' I feel the need to prove otherwise.  Not that I am necessarily right, but to show others the possibility of some validity in my knowledge.  I am not just talking lies.

These experiences provoke insecurities.         

Is it a valid game?  Obviously these types of systems bother me, but am I reading something more than people are actually projecting?
Should I mellow out, brushing off others confident knowing? 

It is an unwelcome dissonance that I am experiencing. If my hope is for others to understand and consider the possibility of my knowledge to be useful, respectable, and expandable, I need to do the same for them.